“Why him?” or "Why her?" You will always hear this question from friends, workmates, and family. "Of all the people you saw, talked, slept, and loved— why does it get to be him? What magic made you choose to stay?"You've dealt with different kinds of men, experienced different kinds of love and realized that for a relationship to work out, you need to have the following:

1.    Enough space

Seeing each other once or twice a week is hard. You want to see the love of your life every day. Truth is, it’s the MAGIC. Seeing each other not as often as once or twice a week gives space. That’s physically and emotionally healthy for both of you.

This gets you to live independently and allows you to have the kind of life you dream about. Sometimes, you want to move freely, you want to watch movies alone, you want to hang out with friends on short notice, and you want to wear the revealing clothes you want. Having this space, you’ll be caught up so much with time that you don’t even notice how fun life is even when alone. I'm not saying it’s okay to forget him but, you know, you’re not his whole world. He has family and friends that want him to spend time with.  This gives you time to do what you love to do. Surely, this goes same with him. He is also busy with his work and passion so you two will work that out.

And if both of you are still young, people around you have expectations of you. You don’t want to be the burden of those expectations not being met, do you? Aside from expectations from people you love, you both have your goals, individually. Goals that you want to achieve by himself. That goes with you too, for sure.

Not too close, not so much space but enough. There’s no rush anyway, make him take his time. Just hope that her will not take too much time if you know what I mean.

2.    Respects each other

I have friends who have this list of qualities and things they want for someone to have for ‘em to be their next partner. Yeah, I know. Kinda cliché but deal with it. I know you have too, It may not be literally written but I know you have a list in your mind. Someday, you’ll meet someone who will hit that list—hard. Real damn hard that you’ll be amazed because it happens. They may not be perfect in so many things but for you, they are.

You’ve been with each other—drunk late night until dawn, slept together—just literally slept nothing more and you’ve been alone so many times. Not a single time you saw him took advantage of you. Not a single time you saw him tried to. You remember him saying, “try me, I’m not like other people you’ve been with” on the first time you’ve met. Well, there has been a time where you tried to, you know, entice him but nothing. Operation failed. Then you came to ask yourself, “What’s wrong with me? Am I not that attracted for him not to be distracted?” They’re human. And human doesn’t last like that if you know what I mean. Truth is, he respects you, and you should get that.

You told you him you’re chill with everything and you can see that he's trying to do the same with you. When he wants to spend the weekend with their friends and not with you, that’s okay. He know what they’re doing. They’re old enough to know what’s right from wrong. It’s not like he's lying to you just to shut you out and be with other girls for the night, right? So just understand and respect that.

You love eating chicken, so they take you out to eat chicken. And, that’s what you should love about him. You don’t need to like everything they like. He don’t need to like everything you like. You have your own minds to think, own perspectives about things, and own life to live with. He has too. You just need to respect each other’s likes and wants for a relationship to last.

3.    Unexpected love

For the record, you don’t want to commit and be in a relationship when you first met him. You still want to explore. You still want to see the world without being attached to anyone or to anything. He can't forget what you said from the very beginning, that he shouldn’t expect anything from you because you don’t hold back. You will do what you want to do.

You can still remember how the two of you were like before. The feelings from the very first time you both said “Hi!” on Messenger down to the first time you saw each other. Who expected everything to be like now? You thought he's just one of the people whom you’ll chill with and goodbye. It’s nice when you don’t expect from things to work out well. It’s nicer when you don’t expect at all. Eventually, you’ll be amazed. If it’s meant to be, it’ll be.

You’re always cautious. He knows that. No one or nothing tames you. Not until now. Your line, “don’t expect anything from me” taught him well. It taught you something too. You shouldn’t expect anything from yourself. That’s what makes life so interesting. There’s always a reason to be hopeful for in the future because you never know what good things will come your way next.

I know you’re glad because you two tried. And, you’re even more glad because he stayed.