Do this: Chase him. Don’t date other guys. Put all your focus on him. Treat him as your world. Forget how great you are and how much great things you can offer.
Stop! C'mon. Don't be dumb. You need to do the opposite of this stupidity.
He is losing interest? Yeah. Possibly.
But it could be the other way around. Who knows?
So, before it’s too late, consider this:
If you are confused about a guy who used to be interested, gave you all the signs including doing romantic little things and overall treating you the way you always wanted to be treated… you must realize that there’s a lot to be said for the dynamic and nature of relationships changing over time. But of course, you did not realize that from the start, did you? It happens in every relationship – the two steps backward and one step forward dance of attraction. Sometimes he's hot, sometimes he's not.
Girl let me tell you this. At the beginning of your relationship, he will do all the possible things to “woo” you. The sad truth is, that won’t continue throughout the relationship. It's a trap. That is one of the reason why we fall in love.
However, even after everything changes, you still stay. He gives you hope that there will be a future and because the future is so exciting, you forget how the current situation bother you.
Now, you have to accept the way things are right now if you really want to stay with him. If you don’t like the way things are right now, you might want to re-think whether you were ever a truly good match after all.
First, think about if it’s really a worth-it relationship. You see, when people think of a relationship, they automatically think about two people relating to each other. When something goes wrong, we then assume that one person wronged the other or that one is at fault.
Stop before you sabotage this once and for all. At this point, I know you’re in a state where you might have mixed feelings that you don’t really know what to make of. These questions: What wrong did I do to make him lose interest? Am I not enough? Am I not that worth it? is in your head. Right?
Maybe he used to be romantic and he isn’t doing the little things you loved anymore.
Maybe he stopped texting you to say he misses you.
Maybe the way he used to be isn’t how he is, and he seems emotionally distant.
Maybe he spends more time with his friends than with you.
The list could go on, but the bottom line is if you focus on the negative, you see the negative. The reality is it’s just as possible that he is more comfortable with your relationship right now. He isn’t trying to “win” you anymore, which is why his behavior has changed.
The most likely scenario (or at least one you should consider before jumping to the conclusion there is something you did wrong to make him lose interest) is that something is happening in his life that he’s dealing with. As a result, his behavior has changed.
When everything is not the way it used to be, we automatically think that he has someone new. The relationship people have with themselves is often ignored… and is most often what is to blame. Most people have poor relationships with themselves. Low self-esteem, insecurity, self-doubt, regret, shame, guilt… the list goes on and on. Nobody can make anyone else feel “worthy” or “good enough”. We know to ourselves that that feeling can only come from within.
The key is to wait. You don’t want to date a guy who’s chasing illusions and doesn’t have a good relationship with himself, don't you?
Oh, please don't tell me stupid things like, a strong woman won't beg and should stop if she feels unwanted because we deserve more than being treated like that. I know you're a strong woman. The fact that you're still with him after being disappointed by his actions is enough to be a strong woman. Yes, you don't need him, but you want him. The same reason why you're still reading this.
Do nothing. The trick here is to not take it personally. If you take things personally or feed into constant worrying about the relationship, your mood will suffer. As a result, instead of interacting with him from a place of happy, fun, carefree energy, your interactions will have an unpleasant, sad or confrontational energy to them, which will cause him to lose interest more and pull away. You'll think that you confirmed your suspicions when, in truth, his withdrawing because of your negative mood (caused by your worries in the first place).
Just focus on the positive and stop feeding your mind with worry thoughts so you won't create a problem.
Always remember that it's not you, it's him.
There are several things he could be dealing with right now. And that would be areas which need to think about before jumping into conclusions.
You must keep in mind that men deal with problems in their own way by themselves. The last thing a man wants is to feel pity.
I’m not saying you’re trying to make him uncomfortable, but if he’s going through a hard time, pressing him to talk about things will make him feel uneasy.
The reality is guys need to feel like winners in the world. If you inspire him to win, you will be the woman he can’t imagine not having in his life. If you feel like he might be dealing with his own stress or a difficult situation, focus on seeing him as the man who is a "winner in the world" rather than worrying about if he’s losing interest.
It's all in how you react to him that determines if he will be hot again or not. Your positivity will show on your interactions with him and will affect how he interacts with you. This may take practice, but this is one of the effective approach to shifting your relationship back into a positive place.
“Why him?” or "Why her?" You will always hear this question from friends, workmates, and family. "Of all the people you saw, talked, slept, and loved— why does it get to be him? What magic made you choose to stay?"You've dealt with different kinds of men, experienced different kinds of love and realized that for a relationship to work out, you need to have the following:
1. Enough space
Seeing each other once or twice a week is hard. You want to see the love of your life every day. Truth is, it’s the MAGIC. Seeing each other not as often as once or twice a week gives space. That’s physically and emotionally healthy for both of you.
This gets you to live independently and allows you to have the kind of life you dream about. Sometimes, you want to move freely, you want to watch movies alone, you want to hang out with friends on short notice, and you want to wear the revealing clothes you want. Having this space, you’ll be caught up so much with time that you don’t even notice how fun life is even when alone. I'm not saying it’s okay to forget him but, you know, you’re not his whole world. He has family and friends that want him to spend time with. This gives you time to do what you love to do. Surely, this goes same with him. He is also busy with his work and passion so you two will work that out.
And if both of you are still young, people around you have expectations of you. You don’t want to be the burden of those expectations not being met, do you? Aside from expectations from people you love, you both have your goals, individually. Goals that you want to achieve by himself. That goes with you too, for sure.
Not too close, not so much space but enough. There’s no rush anyway, make him take his time. Just hope that her will not take too much time if you know what I mean.
You’ve been with each other—drunk late night until dawn, slept together—just literally slept nothing more and you’ve been alone so many times. Not a single time you saw him took advantage of you. Not a single time you saw him tried to. You remember him saying, “try me, I’m not like other people you’ve been with” on the first time you’ve met. Well, there has been a time where you tried to, you know, entice him but nothing. Operation failed. Then you came to ask yourself, “What’s wrong with me? Am I not that attracted for him not to be distracted?” They’re human. And human doesn’t last like that if you know what I mean. Truth is, he respects you, and you should get that.
You told you him you’re chill with everything and you can see that he's trying to do the same with you. When he wants to spend the weekend with their friends and not with you, that’s okay. He know what they’re doing. They’re old enough to know what’s right from wrong. It’s not like he's lying to you just to shut you out and be with other girls for the night, right? So just understand and respect that.
You love eating chicken, so they take you out to eat chicken. And, that’s what you should love about him. You don’t need to like everything they like. He don’t need to like everything you like. You have your own minds to think, own perspectives about things, and own life to live with. He has too. You just need to respect each other’s likes and wants for a relationship to last.
3. Unexpected love
For the record, you don’t want to commit and be in a relationship when you first met him. You still want to explore. You still want to see the world without being attached to anyone or to anything. He can't forget what you said from the very beginning, that he shouldn’t expect anything from you because you don’t hold back. You will do what you want to do.
You can still remember how the two of you were like before. The feelings from the very first time you both said “Hi!” on Messenger down to the first time you saw each other. Who expected everything to be like now? You thought he's just one of the people whom you’ll chill with and goodbye. It’s nice when you don’t expect from things to work out well. It’s nicer when you don’t expect at all. Eventually, you’ll be amazed. If it’s meant to be, it’ll be.
You’re always cautious. He knows that. No one or nothing tames you. Not until now. Your line, “don’t expect anything from me” taught him well. It taught you something too. You shouldn’t expect anything from yourself. That’s what makes life so interesting. There’s always a reason to be hopeful for in the future because you never know what good things will come your way next.
I know you’re glad because you two tried. And, you’re even more glad because he stayed.
